Jessica Biel Seems Completely Sane

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Jessica Biel was on Conan Wednesday night, and halfway through the usual “oh hey I was such a tomboy growing up I haven’t always been this perfect” story, shit got weird. Us Magazine reports:

“They didn’t really stick around very long,” the 30-year-old explained. “I ended up mutilating them by pulling their heads off, cutting off all their hair, dyeing them with markers and sticking them on the Christmas tree lights. They’d light up like these demonic heads. My parents were very open!” When host Conan O’Brien called her tinkering “disturbing,” the Playing for Keeps actress laughed loudly. “Back then I don’t think people reported that kind of stuff. Now I would definitely be in trouble,” Justin Timberlake’s wife of one month said. “I still have the heads. They still go on [my Christmas tree] every year at home.”

So basically Jessica Biel is crazy. And when chicks are crazy, that really only translates to one thing: they’re cool with butt stuff. Look it up. I read it on WebMD.