Taylor Swift Is Dating An 18-Year Old From One Direction, Getting Death Threats

10. Othello, The Black Commando (1982)

It hasn’t been a month since Conor Kennedy (also 18, and a highschool junior) dumped Taylor Swift for being too needy, so Taylor Swift has now projected her bottomless pit of need and insecurity onto another 18-year old. Harry Styles from the gay English boyband, One Direction. And since teenage girls are the most evil species in the world, Swift is now receiving death threats. Sugarscape reports:

“Taylor Swift was the special guest performer, and [here’s] a little inside scoop for you,” he said. “During rehearsals, Harry from One Direction came and slapped me on the back, and said, ‘Hey, Mario, how ya doing?’ And I said, ‘What are you doing here?’ And he sort of [pointed] toward Taylor. “So Taylor Swift and Harry from One Direction – you heard it here first. [They’re] officially hanging out, I can say that much.” Now it seems that SOME vile 1D ‘fans’ have threatened Swifto over the budding romance, with one user writing: ‘If u dating my harry, i kill u [sic]’ and another tweeting: ‘I’ll murder Taylor Swift. She will not date my Harry.’

Damn, how many proms does this bitch want to go to? And why does she seem to have a strict “not allowed to legally drink” policy? I’m no Dr, Phil, but she needs to date a guy who actually knows what to do with a clit and a vagina. If nothing else, it’ll keep her from making anymore albums about sleepovers and wine coolers or whatever the hell.