Leonardo DiCaprio Dumped Erin Heatherton Because He Was Bored

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Leonardo DiCaprio‘s penis roams the Earth like a roaring lion seeking to penetrate every Victoria’s Secret model, so it’s not surprising when the news broke last week that he dumped Erin Heatherton. Did she cheat on him? Did they not have good communication? Did they have different political views? Not really. He just got tired of fucking her 🙁 Chicago Times reports:

When it comes to Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriends, they may be endearing, but they’re seldom enduring. The latest lovely to exit the superstar’s life is Skokie native and Niles North grad Erin Heatherton — a major supermodel, cover girl and famous Victoria’s Secret “Angel.” The duo reportedly have split very amicably — which is almost always the way DiCaprio breaks things off. “With Leo, there rarely is any big drama or ugly scene,” said a longtime friend of the actor Sunday. “Leo is a total gentleman, but when it comes to women, he just gets, well, bored. He’s a very bright guy and so far, with the exception of maybe [ex-girlfriends] Bar [Rafaeli] and Giselle [Bundchen], he often finds he loses interest pretty quickly. You can only keep interested because of the sexual attraction for so long.”

I know people who have unattractive wives or girlfriends have to believe that DiCaprio is gay and they will voice that opinion in the comments. They might also say Erin Heatherton is too skinny and needs a sandwich. They might also record a lot of Bravo on their DVR.