Megan Fox Had Her Baby Three Weeks Ago

Iron Man 3 (2013)

You all probably forgot that a person named Megan Fox existed, and more importantly, you probably forgot she was pregnant with the wigger from Beverly Hills 90210‘s baby. I guess she knew that because she announced on Facebook that she had the baby on September 27th. Why wasn’t I called?

We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do. I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27th. He is healthy, happy, and perfect. We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love. Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly

“Noah Green” sounds like he’ll grow up one day to own a diamond exchange or accounting firm, but let me be the millionth to congratulate Megan Fox on being a MILF. Hopefully she borrowed some cocoa butter from Kim Kardashian. Because stretch marks, ewww.