George Clooney Has Tired Of Stacy Keibler’s Vagina

For a little more than a year, you might have recognized Stacy Keibler as “Woman Holding Hands With George Clooney At The Golden Globes”, or her more serious role of, “Woman Holding Hands With George Clooney At The Oscars”. But apparently she got too comfortable, because George Clooney is basically ignoring her now. I’m not sure if Keibler was briefed properly, because if she was, she would have known that Clooney’s penis has the attention span of Mitt Romney is a cash wind machine. New York Daily News reports:

An eyewitness who saw Keibler at a recent cooking event tells Confidenti@l that “she was acting really nervous and refused to talk about George.” After another function last week, a well-placed spy blabbed, Keibler was tearful about the situation. Stricken with grief, Keibler was seen breaking down on and off throughout the day and needed to be consoled by her handler. The source also says she kept checking her phone for texts or calls from Clooney. “They’re barely talking,” another snitch reveals. “She is worried that he may break up with her any day now.” “George is being really distant and pulling away from her,” says our source. “She wakes up every morning and doesn’t know what’s going to happen.” We hear the bodacious blond — who recently was signed to host the Lifetime Channel’s new competition series “Supermarket Superstars” — is nervous that on-screen opportunities will dry up if she and the superstar split. “She’s well aware that she needs to get as much work as possible right now,” says the insider. “She’s working as much as she can.”

Man, she seems pretty heartbroken. I wonder how George is taking the end of this special, year-long relationship?

Meanwhile, Clooney has been cool and collected on set and palling around with his A-list castmates. “He hasn’t said much about Stacy” and “has been focused on the film,” according to a movie-set source in Oklahoma.

And, that’s it. It’s done. Stacy Keibler will be singing Adele into a hairbrush for the next six months while George Clooney’s penis will be holding auditions. Then Keibler will DVR those auditions and cry on the phone with her girlfriends. Jesus, Stacy. Stop embarrassing yourself.