Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Got Married This Weekend

“Haha, my boobs are bigger you skinny white girl! Love you!”

Well, that was quick. People reports:

According to a Tweet by Charleston, S.C., radio station 95.1 FM, the pair, linked since October 2011, got married in town at “the Cotton Docks” at Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, S.C., just outside of downtown Charleston. And a source told PEOPLE that the two, whom sources spotted in town having dinner with Bette Midler earlier in the weekend, were in South Carolina to get married. On Sunday evening, a big event did indeed take place in a white tent at the plantation, and Florence Welch (of Florence and the Machine), a good friend of the Gossip Girl star, performed three songs live at a reception. PEOPLE also confirmed that a cake was being driven down from Virginia for the event. Lively’s mother and sister were also spotted in town.

Other than being terrible actors (I mean, except for Blake in The Town), I really have nothing bad to say about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. They met, fell in love, got married, and didn’t need a press release or a primetime special with scripted dialogue so they could suck all the money they could out of E!’s dick (it’s probably smaller than Jon Hamm’s dick). So, congratulations I guess. When Ashley Greene and I get married, we’ll probably do the same thing. We don’t need a big spectacle to show our commitment to each other. Her lawyer keeps throwing out things like “restraining order” and “stalking”, but I’ve already registered us at Crate & Barrel. The Cuisinart Griddler is a timesaving, nonstick griddle, contact grill, panini press and open grill all in one—with one reversible plate and dual temperature controls allowing for simultaneous use in two formats. Integrated drip tray collects grease; floating hinge adjusts the cover to thickness of food or opens flat for double the cooking surface!