Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Probably Broke Up

Since Selena Gomez doesn’t really want foreplay to always include massaging a prostate, it looks like she is probably broken up with Justin Bieber. Maybe. Possibly. Who gives a shit. It’s Friday.

A source tells PEOPLE that Gomez, 19, “was crying about Justin and was upset” during Ashley Tisdale’s birthday bash last week. But multiple photos from the fete show the “Love You Like a Love Song” singer all smiles, appearing to be in upbeat spirits. She was even photographed being twirled around by a man identified as Bieber’s close pal Alfredo Flores.

I wonder if the LBGT community hates Justin Bieber because he can look exactly like a lesbian and still have a dick? Do transgendered people cry when they see him? To be honest, I don’t know how all this works exactly.

Pictures of Arianny Celeste in a bikini instead of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez? I really hope you didn’t just ask that out loud.