Minka Kelly Secretly “Hooked Up” With Jake Gyllenhaal

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Magazines and the media would like you to believe that Jake Gyllenhaal slays more pussy than PETA, yet you never see him with a woman unless he has a movie coming out then they immediately “break up” after the premiere. I guess they didn’t bother with all that this time. Us Magazine reports:

The actor recently had some dates with his crush Minka Kelly, who had turned him down cold when he first asked her out last fall. “Minka wasn’t into Jake when he first pursued her,” a mutual pal of the actor, 31, and the Friday Night Lights alum, 32 tells Us Weekly. Instead, Kelly spent the winter romancing serial dater Wilmer Valderrama, 32. But when the affair fizzled in late April, says the friend, Kelly “decided to give Jake another chance.” Alas, the spark never quite caught fire, says a second source. “It was never serious, and it’s over now.”

Can we please just stop all this? I’m not saying Jake Gyllenhaal is a homosexual, and although that’s not true, he could be in a closet with a naked Chrissy Teigen and Brooklyn Decker, and at best they’d all come out with freshly painted toenails and friendship bracelets they made out of each other’s hair.