This Was Almost An Obituary

Photo courtesy of TMZ, if you couldn’t tell.

Yesterday Lindsay Lohan totaled her rented Porsche after colliding with a 18-wheeler. Original reports (put out by Lindsay’s camp, obviously) said it was the truck driver’s fault because he cut her off. Also, Lindsay was apparently sober and needed medical attention but was released from the hospital after a few hours. But like anything involving Lindsay it now looks like there were some crackhead shenanigans going on.

TMZ reports:

James, the driver of the semi-truck, emphatically [denies the accident was his fault] and claims he has multiple witnesses that saw Lindsay “flying” down the highway. James says he couldn’t have cut Lindsay off because he was already in the right lane when the accident occurred.


James tells TMZ after the accident, he called 911 as Lindsay and her male assistant got out of the Porsche and into the Escalade. James says the assistant picked up a pink bag, “filled it up with something” and then put clothes on top of it. James says the Escalade driver offered him money, saying they could “go to the bank” and withdraw some cash. “[They] took me across the street and told me this was some kind of famous person and they didn’t want to be in the media. But I’d already called 911 because they were trying to get away from the scene. But they packed a bag and then the limousine driver told me, ‘Don’t mention the bag to the cops.'”

I’m glad Lindsay didn’t die, because her people would have gone overboard saying she was cut down right as she was making her big comeback. Everyone who worked on the Lifetime movie would had come out and said how amazing and professional she was. Her mom would have compared her to Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana or both. So many sycophants would have crawled out of the woodwork it would have been nauseating. I’m not having that, Lindsay. You finish your shitty movie before you cause your own death somehow so everyone has solid proof this “comeback” is bullshit.