Brad Pitt Is Finally Pretty Sure Angelina Jolie Is The One

And it only took one broken marriage, seven years, and six kids.

TMZ reports:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally engaged — this according to Brad’s rep.

Brad’s manager Cynthia Pett-Dante released a statement confirming the engagement, but says there’s no wedding date yet — as of now, the engagement is simply a “promise for the future.”

Angelina was photographed on Wednesday wearing what appears to be her engagement ring. Click here for the photo.

So why this show of commitment now? Brad and Angelina always said they wouldn’t get married until gay marriage was legal, but then their kids are too young to understand the complex realities surrounding basic civil rights. So the official word is they are doing this because the kids want them to, but we all know what this is really about. Angie is in talks to star with Michael Fassbender in The Counselor, which starts filming this summer. She is a man-eater with a documented penchant for her co-stars. And she’s probably seen Shame. Brad has probably seen Shame. (You should go watch Shame.) Everyone knows what the younger, hotter Irishman is packing. So cheating is pretty much inevitable. Brad can only hope the prongs on that boulder rip out some of Michael’s ginger short and curlies every time Angie rips his pants off.