Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Stalking Men At Their Jobs Now

Because the three rings to bind them are driving her slowly insane and since one cannot simply walk into Mordor Wedding Chapel with a guy she drugged, Jennifer Love Hewitt is now showing up to the places of employment of the guys she wants to bang then immediately pick out table settings for the reception with. New York Post reports:

Jennifer Love Hewitt had her eye on “Dancing With the Stars” hunk Maksim Chmerkovskiy on Monday night. Our spy at the show said “The Client List” star was in the audience and “trying to get Maksim’s attention. She was wearing a skintight dress, sitting front-row and smiling at him all night.” During the show, Hewitt also told host Tom Bergeron that she was rooting “for Maks.

Normally you could get away with banging girls like this, but you know as soon as you stick your dick in Jennifer Love Hewitt it’s like an ignition key to crank up the 500 horsepower of crazy. Like you’d pull out to blow on her tits and she’d block it with the back page of a 40 page marriage contract that turns your semen to ink and her clit is somehow an authorized notary.