Kate Upton Will Endorse Anything

Once a generation, a commercial whore will arise who will literally endorse anything that will give them a check. And since a 49-year old shooting guard from NC only resonates with people afraid of having bacon neck and inadequate hydration now, Kate Upton and her huge tits have emerged to appear in any and every commercial filmed from now on while she bides her time until she turns 30 and marries a NFL quarterback/”entrepreneur”/hedge fund manager/R&B singer/[insert model cliche here] who thinks he’s still marrying 2012 Kate Upton. Man, what a touching love story this turned out to be.