Blue Ivy Carter Has Six Nannies And A Sapphire-Encrusted Bottle

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Other than sounding like a really good strand of weed and crying on a Jay-Z track, Blue Ivy Carter hasn’t really accomplished that much. Hopefully one day she can get kids to sell crack for her like her dad or take other people’s songs then pay them off to shut the hell up about it like her mom. But until then, she’s just an average kid. Oh, wait. inTouch Weekly reports:

Beyonce isn’t leaving anything to chance when it comes to the welfare of her firthborn child. According to a friend, the new mom has two nannies on call at all times, which makes for a total of six nannies for little Blue Ivy Carter. “Beyonce wanted to make sure that her daughter has the best of care,” a friend of the singer tells In Touch. “Her diaper is changed every hour.” And proud papa Jay-Z, 42, is also lavishing attention on the newborn – by way of bling. “Jay-Z bought her diamond earrings and a platinum baby bracelet,” reveals the friend. “Even her bottle has pink sapphires on it.” A little over the top perhaps, but what can you expect from the couple who reportedly spent $1.3 million to bullet-proof the delivery room!

Six nannies and a bullet-proof delivery room? Is Blue Ivy one of the X-Men? Is some sort of bio-engineered human weapon for the government to fight the war on terror? No? Oh then she’s just a fucking baby? I see.