Lindsay Wants To Sue Over A Completely Believable Story

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Lindsay Lohan crashed a SAG afterparty at Chateau Marmont Sunday night, and long story short, she was seen going in and out of the bathroom with some dude (cocaine), slurring and stumbling (vodka), and stalking Harvey Weinstein (I’ll suck your dick for a role, any role oh god please).

Radar Online

“Lindsay was spotted going to the restroom with a male companion on numerous occasions in a short amount of time,” an eyewitness told “When the two of them emerged from the bathroom, Lindsay was giggling and her nose appeared red. Lindsay was spotted only drinking water in the lounge area, but she appeared to be loaded on something, and she seemed under the influence. Lindsay’s eyes were glassy and her pupils were constricted.”…A second eyewitness tells us that Lohan, wearing a plunging v-neck black dress, sans bra, on Sunday night: “was definitely on something. She was slurring her words, and needed help walking at one point in the course of the night.” A third eyewitness tells Radar: “Lindsay was sitting on a chair adjacent to Harvey Weinstein’s party – his was roped off and she didn’t get past the rope. So she sat on the other side looking over. She looked bedraggled and desperate.”

Naturally, Lindsay now wants to sue because unsubstantiated rumors and vicious lies claiming she’s a cokewhore are “sabotaging her efforts to save her career”. You know, not her inability to stay away from a fucking party for once. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan says there’s NO TRUTH to reports she was boozing at a SAG Awards after party this weekend … and now, TMZ has learned, she’s threatening to SUE the media outlets that published the story in the first place. A source close to the actress tells TMZ … Lindsay is already exploring her legal options with her attorneys … because she feels the false stories are sabotaging her effort to save her career. Lindsay acknowledges she WAS at the party at the Chateau Marmot hotel in Hollywood Sunday night … but insists she was sitting with Alan Cummings the whole time and ONLY drank water.

As you read that, please pay close attention to the fact that Lindsay is adamant that she was drinking alcohol…and that’s basically where she stops. No mention of cocaine. Not at all. Unless you got some. You got some? Just a little bump, man. C’mon. I know you got some why you don’t wanna share? Just a little bit? I’ll take you to the bathroom and we can talk about it. Wanna go to the bathroom with me? I’ll take you to the bathroom. I know you want to. (it just goes on like that for a while until she give some dude a handjob).