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Every time I write one of these I take myself outside and kick my own ass because I always forget to include Kate Beckinsale. Mostly because I just take for granted that she’s physical perfection and will seemingly always be hot. Sorry, Kate. Or you’re welcome. Call me. Anyway, here she is at the Madrid premiere of Underworld: Awakening in a red dress and showing how easy it would be for her to trap me in a relationship with a pregnancy. My penis would refuse to pull out just on general principle alone.