Katy Perry’s New Album Will Be All About Russell Brand

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Because all of her songs are deep wells of emotion and introspect and in no way sound like a 7th grader with a Casio and a creative writing assignment, Katy Perry‘s next album will be about her relationship and breakup with Russell Brand. Oh good. The Sun reports:

A source said: “Ever since problems started to emerge, she penned her thoughts in a diary which she goes back to to draw upon for lyrics for her songs. “She has always said that writing is almost a form of therapy for her and she would often be found in her dressing room on tour writing in her diary. “She spent a lot of time in Hawaii over Christmas writing lyrics to two of her latest tracks.” Russell filed for divorce at LA Superior Court last Friday, citing “irreconcilable differences”.

And just so we’re all clear about what therapeutic, soul searching lyrics we can expect, this article also includes lyrics Perry wrote about Travis McCoy. I assume this article included them sarcastically.

She documented Travis McCoy’s alleged drug abuse in her album track, Circle The Drain. The lyrics went: “Thought I was the exception/ I could rewrite your addiction/ You could have been the greatest/ But you’d rather get wasted/ You fall asleep during foreplay/ ‘Cause the pills you take are more your forte.”

Even though I’m still not fully convinced that “Rollin’ In The Deep” isn’t about a woman’s desire to make fresh buttermilk biscuits from scratch then eating all of them immediately, when Adele sings you kinda get what she’s been going through. When Katy Perry sings it sounds forced and fake and the lyrics probably had to be approved in a staff meeting where Adele came by to see if they had any leftover donuts. C’mon, it’s obvious she’s an emotional eater.