Russell Brand Divorced Katy Perry Because She Partied Too Much

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Russell Brand is a recovered alcoholic and heroin addict and an allegedly recovered sex addict. Katy Perry partied too much for him. The Daily Mail reports:

Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry because she refused to settle down and have his children, the Sunday Mirror can reveal. The couple had a series of huge bust-ups over her partying and boozy lifestyle in the run-up to the collapse of their 14-month marriage. Comedian Russell, 36, has beaten booze and drugs addictions and wanted to shun the Hollywood clubbing scene and start a family with the Firework singer. But Katy, 27, didn’t want to become a “Hollywood housewife”. A source close to the couple said Katy took off her wedding ring and handed it back to Russell after one last devastating row a week before Christmas. The I Kissed A Girl star thought she had called her husband’s bluff and he would come running back. But it was the final straw for Russell, who simply shrugged his shoulders and flew home to his mother Barbara. The couple spent Christmas 7,000 miles apart – Katy in Hawaii, Russell in Cornwall – before he instructed his lawyers to start divorce proceedings on Friday. … It remains unclear whether the decision to end the marriage was mutual. … When Katy took her ring off he decided it was best he walked away. “Katy was surprised that Russell didn’t come running back but she had met her match. They are both strong-willed people and there has been a lot of game-playing going on.”

Katy Perry sounds like an awesome wife. In addition to dictating what her husband can wear and not banging him on their honeymoon, she also lied about her intentions when tying the knot. Katy Perry also pretty much said “fuck you” to everything her husband currently stands for at the VMAs, where he did a tribute to fellow addict and current corpse Amy Winehouse, and she raved about how drunk she was. I guess the moral of the story is, vaginas are all replaceable. So when your husband is used to cumming on three different chests a day (or at a time), you should be a little more sensitive and a little less of a cunt. Especially when you wake up looking like this.