Kourtney Kardashian Is Pregnant Again

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“You insolent fools! What fresh hell is this? Call Sgt. Brody. Have him bring me the head of this unborn infidel at once!” – Mason Disick

Determined on making your wait at TSA just a little longer over the next 18 years, Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that she is pregnant with her second child by Scott Whathisfuck. Us Magazine reports:

The E! reality star, 32, took a pregnancy test about five weeks ago — and woke up Disick, 28 (not a morning person!), around 7.a.m. to tell him the positive results. “Now I’m nine weeks along,” Kardashian tells Us. “You’re supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident.” The son or daughter-to-be will be the second child for the couple of five years, whose son Mason, nearly 2, was a bit of a surprise. Not so much for baby number two, the happy couple tells Us. “It wasn’t like we weren’t trying,” Disick, 28, says. “We kind of just said, ‘If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.'”

I guess she couldn’t wait the extra three weeks to get her check from Us Magazine. I really can’t blame her. Scott’s ascots and Mason’s laser hair removal treatments and splinter cell meetups cost money you know.