It’s All Out War On Kris Humphries

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Since most Americans are mindless idiots who believe anything they see or hear as long they can get a $2 waffle iron and a gun permit, last night’s season premiere of Kourtney & Kim Take New York pulled in 3.2 million viewers (up 6% from last year). And as expected, Kris Jenner and E! made damn fucking sure Kris Humphries looked more evil than Jerry Sandusky and Hitler tag teaming a 5-year old. Radar Online reports:

“Kris did jokingly say that Kim ate too much wedding cake, but what viewers didn’t see was Kim nagging Kris about working. “There was nothing he could do about the NBA lockout, he was working out, and getting ready for the upcoming season, and he is a free agent. It was actually Kim’s idea that Kris go back to Minnesota to train and give them some distance. Kris wasn’t getting any sleep at all with Mason’s playroom literally set up outside their bedroom door. It made no sense for Mason’s play area to be on the second floor of the suite Kim, Kris, Scott and Kourtney were staying in. Scott and Kourtney were staying downstairs, and Scott felt that the producers of the show were just trying to provoke him into reactions.” As previously reported, Kim worked closely with the show producers to ensure she was portrayed in a positive light, and her estranged NBA hubby as a “lazy and insensitive” villain. “Kris wasn’t surprised that he was made to look bad. He will just be relieved when the show is over, and his divorce is final, the source tells “Kris is focusing on signing a NBA contract and getting back to work.”

New York Post adds:

Kardashian and Humphries are not speaking, with the friend adding, “They are only communicating through lawyers. They won’t become friends, but they are not enemies.” Sources close to Humphries said the show was edited to make him look bad. One source said, “It is completely staged. He went from being sweet and playful to verbally abusive and mean-spirited. It is no coincidence that Kris Jenner is an executive producer. They are doing this to save Kim’s career.”

It’s pretty easy to paint yourself as the victim when you have total control and final edit of the footage. And to be clear, Kris Humphries is the only one involved in this story with an actual job, yet he’s the lazy one. They got married during the NBA lockout. What was he supposed to do, call Tron and see if he could get inside NBA 2K12? Whatever. Fuck this whole family. It’s a good think my grandma is almost finished cutting the crust off my peanut and jelly sandwich or I would be really upset over all this right now.