Oh, Of Course

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I assume when Kris Jenner initially tried to plant this story that she said Kris Humphries tied Kim Kardashian to a railroad track then twirled his mustache, but Us Weekly said that might sound too unbelievable. Us Weekly reports:

Kim Kardashian has been raked over the coals in the court of public opinion ever since she filed for divorce from Kris Humphries Oct. 31. But the real villain in the 72-day marriage, pals tell the new Us Weekly, was out-of-work NBA star Humphries, 26. After lavishly tying the knot Aug. 20, Kardashian’s hubby soaked up the perks of being married to one of the most successful reality stars ever — staying out late at clubs in NYC and L.A., and demanding free bottle service and more wherever he went. Even worse? He could be downright cruel to Kardashian, 31. “He belittled her in front of people,” one insider tells Us. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.” The source adds that Humphries resented his wife’s fame and fortune. “He tried to control Kim by bringing her down…He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.” He even took exception to her world-famous posterior, calling her “fat ass,” the source says.

So what you’re expected to believe is that Kim Kardashian got married for love with the love of her life, then the day they got married Kris Humphries turned into an abusive, jackass who belittled her at every turn and she lived the next 72 days in a constant hell. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the tsunami of a backlash that she’s facing and the fact that she’s desperately trying to deflect blame any way that she can. Of course not. I’m sure it has nothing to do with that.

Note: If you have any delusions about this being about anything other than what I just said, stop pouting and read this.