Katy Perry Wants To Have Kids, Duggar Style

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Not able to keep her childhood Christian indoctrination choked down all the way while she pretends to have sex with girls and write completely transparent lyrics about giving you a blowjob if you come to California (haha! she said ‘lollipop’ instead! LOL!), Katy Perry is married and now wants a bunch of kids. Because that’s what God told Noah to do. Huffington Post reports:

Katy Perry and Russell Brand just celebrated their one-year anniversary, which is like 5-years in Hollywood time, so naturally everyone wants to know when Katy plans on starting a family. The 27-year-old singer told Ellen DeGeneres on her talk show on Friday, that she would love to have children. “I think that’s one of the reasons you get married,” she said. “Especially to the person you marry. You think, that person is going to be a good partner, a good parent. But, I’m not sure it’s time yet. We’ll see, ya know?” When asked if the singer wanted to have a lot of children, she replied, “If it doesn’t hurt the first time, I’ll keep popping them out!” “It will hurt: I’ve heard that it hurts,” Ellen joked. “Word around town is it hurts!”

I’m really torn about all this because on one hand, her boobs will get bigger, and on the other hand, her boobs will get bigger. Oh, man. Wow. Sorry about that you guys. Turns out I’m not really torn at all.