Kris Humphries Is Over It

Kim Kardashian’s husband, Kris Humphries, may not be her husband much longer. Page Six says:

Is it over? Kris Humphries leaves his and Kim Kardashian’s Manhattan hotel clutching boxes and wearing no wedding ring, amid reports of trouble in their marriage. Today is Kim’s 31st birthday, and Kris was seen moving out with boxes and bags late yesterday afternoon while speculation swirled about their two-month marriage. But sources told us the couple looked happy Wednesday night over dinner at STK and left holding hands. Kim is expected to jet to Vegas to celebrate her birthday at Marquee tomorrow night. Hopefully Kris will be at her side. A source added, “The show [“Kourtney & Kim Take New York”] is wrapping, so they all have been packing up. Kris is headed to Vegas with Kim for her birthday weekend.” Kim’s rep declined to comment.

This further proves that any girl who has a birthday longer than one day is usually a whore. Now that that’s out of the way, don’t buy the divorce rumors. They’re staying together at least until they’re done counting all the money they earned from their wedding special; release a unisex fragrance; film, deny existence of, then faux-shamefully release and sell their sex tape; and have a highly publicized miscarriage that can be used as a contributing factor to the split. It’ll sell more magazines than “Kris Humphries was too pale for Kim to renew his contract.”