Helping Battered Women Isn’t As Fulfilling As Hooking

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Lindsay Lohan has been scrambling like Cam Newton behind a paraplegic offensive line the last two weeks to make it seem in court today that she’s serious about completing the terms of her probation. When in reality she doesn’t give a shit. Now back to what I was saying. One of the terms of her probation was to complete 240 hours at Downtown Women’s Center, but she was kicked out and reassigned to Red Cross without Judge Sautner’s knowledge or consent (please keep in mind that Judge Sautner specifically told Lindsay she had to serve there). So why did Lindsay get moved? Oh, because she said it was “not fulfilling”. Yeah, you read that right. TMZ reports:

Sources connected with the Probation Department tell TMZ … Judge Stephanie Sautner contacted Probation officials and told them to immediately yank Lindsay from her current community service assignment with the Red Cross. We’re told Judge Sautner ordered the Probation people to immediately assign Lindsay to morgue duty. It’s clearly a sign the judge is pissed off — probably at the Probation Dept. for pulling a switcheroo by taking Lindsay out of the Downtown Women’s Center, where the judge ordered Lindsay to perform 360 hours of community service. Judge Sautner also ordered Lindsay to do 120 hours at the morgue, and now that’s taken top billing. As for pissing off the judge, we’ve learned there’s something in the Probation report that will probably do just that. Lindsay’s probation officer wrote that Lindsay had problems with the Women’s Center, because it was “not fulfilling.” One more time — Lindsay complained the Woman’s Center was “NOT FULFILLING.

Um, “not fulfilling”? Did she think she was gonna go there and eat tacos? What the fuck does “not fulfilling” mean? I swear to God if the judge doesn’t have a trap door waiting or a anvil rigged to the ceiling when Lindsay walks in, I’m gonna burn something to the damn ground.