Jessica Simpson Is Getting A Breast Reduction

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Right. It’s the DDs that make you look fat, Jessica. That’s it. The Sun reports:

JESSICA Simpson is going under the knife – to make her boobs SMALLER. The TV star, 31, told pals she is fed up with her DD breasts as they “make her look fat”. A pal said: “She’s never loved having a huge chest.” The star reportedly wants to slim before her wedding to American footballer Eric Johnson. The pal said she may even POSTPONE the wedding if she can’t lose weight for the November 11 event.

If I’m reading this right, the wedding will be somewhere around 2025. And if she gets rid of her tits then…oh, fuck it. I’ll just go ahead and ask it. Exactly what would be the point of Jessica Simpson again?