Not Sure That’s Gonna Fit, Taylor

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It’s pretty clear that the best way to get a song written about you is to be named “Shawty” or to date Taylor Swift, but she’s way too adorable to make fun of here. Like I’m not even sure I would want to have sex with her at this point. I get the feeling that if I did that a baby panda cub sitting in a basket and holding a kitten with a bow on its head would be tickling my dick inside her vagina.