Lindsay’s Judge Is For Serious This Time, You Guys

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On April 22, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 120 days in jail (commuted to 35 hours of house arrest), 480 hours of community service, psychological counseling, alcohol treatment, and shoplifting courses for violating her probation. Today, she was present at a probation hearing, where as expected, the judge learned Lindsay has done jack shit. TMZ reports:

Judge Stephanie Sautner made it clear — she is extremely impatient with Lindsay Lohan and her progress in completing probation. Judge Sautner made it clear, Lindsay had better complete her community services within 1 year of the date of sentencing — or else! The judge said, “I’m not going to give her five extra minutes. I don’t want to hear, ‘Oh, I couldn’t do it because I was on the set of the John Gotti movie.'” The judge was frustrated that after 2 months, Lindsay has only completed 4 days of 60 days of community service. The judge was also upset that Lindsay had not enrolled in psychological counseling — as she’s required to do. The judge is giving her 21 days to sign up with a personal counselor — not a group counselor.

But wait, there’s an excuse, your honor. Lots of nightclubs are open during the week and Lindsay is too poor to afford anything if she has to pay herself. Radar Online reports:

The judge asked Lindsay if she was clear on the requirement for psych counseling to which Lindsay replied: “Yes, your honor.” One surprising part of the hearing happened when Holley said because Lindsay’s SAG insurance has lapsed, she couldn’t afford the cost of psychological testing. The judge wasn’t swayed by that excuse. The judge set the next hearing for October 19 and said at that time, she wants Lindsay to have completed her shoplifting courses and she wants to see progress both on Lindsay undergoing psychological testing and progress on community service.

Oh, man you hear that?! Lindsay better tighten up because next time the judge won’t be so lenient. She’ll throw the book at Lindsay! You know, next time. Because next time she’ll be all business. Next time. If Lindsay keeps this up, the judge might even blindfold her when she sentences her to ride on a scary roller coaster.