Lindsay Is Completely Delusional, Drunk, Thought She Should Have Been in Black Swan

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Plum Miami Magazine paid Lindsay Lohan to do a photoshoot and an accompanying interview with writer Jacquelynn Powers. I don’t think they have internet in their office because they didn’t know that Lindsay is a complete fuck up and manipulative drug addict with no perspective or understanding of anything around her. Us Magazine reports:

Lindsay being Lindsay:

“As we pulled up to the Fontainebleau, a bright-orange parking cone was blocking the entrance. Not accustomed to waiting, apparently, she lowered the car’s window and shouted, ‘Move that cone. I’m Lindsay Lohan,'” Powers recalls. “And it was done.”

Lindsay talked about her sobriety. Over drinks:

Noting that Lohan drank wine while discussing her sobriety, Powers says the Mean Girls star was “constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister…or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels.”

Lindsay took a ballet class, so she doesn’t understand why she didn’t get Natalie Portman’s part in Black Swan:

Frustrated with the state of her career, Lohan said she “took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie Black Swan,” Powers adds.

Lindsay couldn’t let being paid for an interview and a photoshoot ruin her fun. She was in Miami, bitch!:

Though Lohan abruptly canceled the interview, that didn’t stop her from making the most out of her time in Miami. “Monday morning was supposed to be check-out time, but Lindsay and her posse refused to leave,” Powers writes. “It was like watching the lights come on at a nightclub after-hours — not pretty

You really didn’t think Lindsay expected somebody other than Plum to pay for everything did you?:

The most annoying part, Powers tells Gawker, is that “Plum covered all Lindsay’s expenses, including airfare for her and her family/entourage, lodging at the iconic Raleigh hotel in the penthouse suite and all transportation costs.”

Is it legal to drown this bitch in a fountain yet? It has to be right? And can I choke her and scream, “DIE BITCH! WHY DON’T YOU DIE??!!” while I do it? I mean, I don’t have to say those exact words. That’s a first draft really. I like to improvise and not marry myself to a specific script.