Kate Upton Is Good At Pretending She’s Good At Softball

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As a taxpayer and a private citizen, I can’t in good conscience support an event that asks Kate Upton to participate without her massive rack hanging out, but she played in the All-Star Celebrity Softball Game in Phoenix where I’m sure she wanted to go because a lot of rich athletes would be there. No, I meant she wanted to go because she’s always been a tomboy and she remembers playing catch with her brothers and oh my god they used to let her win because they were so much older but she wanted to prove them wrong so she kept playing because she’s always loved sports and being around sports so she jumped at the chance to play in a celebrity softball game because she’s not just a pretty face and doesn’t want to be stereotyped as just some model because she can do other things as well and sports has always been her passion and it feels good to give back because it’s all for charity to help a worthwhile cause. Also, rich athletes.