Natalie Portman Gave Her Kid A Stupid Name

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I’ll just go ahead and say it. Natalie Portman named her kid “Alef”. Alef Millepied. And people say Casey Anthony is a horrible mother. Washington Post reports:

The name of Natalie Portman and fiance Benjamin Millepied’s baby boy has remained unknown since his birth in June — until now? Newspaper Israel Hayom is reporting, via “The Guy Pines Show,” that the couple named their son Alef. The name, also spelled “Aleph” and pronounced “All-Eff,” is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Portman was born Natalie Hershlag in Jeruslaem. Requests for comment from Portman’s reps have not been returned. And considering there hasn’t been official confirmation that the baby was even born, just a report from People, getting it may be tough. The Huffington Post said it received a tip last month that this was the name.

Christ (Sorry, Natalie). His name is “Alef Millepied” and this frolicking queer is supposedly his father. Let’s just hope the burning bush finally shows up when he’s about to get his ass kicked at recess.