Jennifer Aniston Is A Great Girlfriend

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Jennifer Aniston‘s publicist has done everything but take out a billboard to let everybody in the world know that she’s now dating Justin Theroux, so you’d think that at the premiere of her new movie Horrible Bosses, she’d want to walk the red carpet with her new boyfriend for the first time. But then you realize we’re talking about Jennifer Aniston and walking down the red carpet with her boyfriend would mean that it wouldn’t be completely about her and only her. Mail Online reports:

There may be an excitable buzz surrounding Jennifer Aniston and her new romance. But last night she made sure that the focus was firmly on her as she posed alone on the red carpet at the premiere of her new film. Boyfriend Justin Theroux wasn’t far behind though – he waited patiently in the car as Jennifer, 42, slipped out and dashed through the traffic to make her grand entrance.

I was going to write this long-winded rant about how much I loathe this cunt, but it’s way too early in the morning to be angry. And besides, I can’t find my coffee cup. Look, everybody knows that’s my cup so don’t pretend you haven’t seen it. I leave it in the same place everyday. Oh really? Well, how many other cups in here have kittens taking a bubble bath painted on the side, huh? I’m tired of everybody in this office who think they can just prance around here all day taking people’s coffee cups and thinking I won’t find out. I know what goes on around here. You people think I’m stupid and will just sit by why you hide my coffee cup from me. All I want to do is sit at my desk, drink some coffee, and look at kittens taking a bubble bath, but noooo, you people can’t stand that can you? Can you?! You just can’t stand to see a person happy is that it? You’re so miserable in your own life that you just stand the thought of somebody at his desk drinking coffee and looking a kittens? No, I will not calm down, sir! You know what? The hell with all of you. I just might write a letter to the corporate office and let them know we have thieves who work here. Oh, I have your attention now, don’t I? That’s right, thieves. All of you are thieves robbing me of my happiness. What are you doing? Don’t come any clos…stop right…take your goddamn hands off me!