Halle Berry Is In Court

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Up until last year, Halle Berry was known as the Oscar-winning actress most likely to get gang raped if she ever stepped foot outside her house without a security detail. Then she broke up with Gabriel Aubry and they had to decide on a custody agreement. Then she got fucking crazy (here and here). They’re in court now. This should turn out well. TMZ reports:

Halle Berry is in family court right now, doing battle with Gabriel Aubry over custody of their 3-year-old daughter, Nahla. Halle’s lawyer filed a very thick stack of documents a few minutes ago, outlining trouble she’s had with Gabriel. We’re told the document lists Gabriel’s alleged failings as a dad. Gabriel didn’t show up, but his lawyer is there.

People need to learn there is a child’s well-being at stake, so instead of a lengthy court battle, they should turn to God’s word. Let the judge be like wise King Solomon. And tell the bailiff to hold the baby upside down and cut it in half with a sword. And whoever screams the loudest loves the baby more. Because, after all, it’s a child’s life. There’s really no reason to bring present facts or have logical discourse about the child’s well being. Put it in God’s hands.