Well, This Is Disappointing

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Here’s Kate Upton hailing a cab in NYC yesterday, and uhhh what just happened? Don’t get me wrong, my penis appreciates the fact she’s dumb and has huge tits, but did her tits just get some bad news? Why do they look so sad? And was she recently paralyzed for a year or did she donate her calf muscles to science? I don’t know, but my penis just put his hands on his head and walked around the room. Then he sat down to stare out the window while sipping his coffee. Because there’s so many questions, my friends. So many questions.