Aubrey O’Day Uses Twitter

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Nobody has really seen her birth certificate, but wikipedia tells me that Aubrey O’Day is 27. However, 20/20 vision tells me that she’s an embalmed 48-year old who was exhumed and hooked up to a generator and brought back to life with the help of a secret government chemical that was leaked into the water supply. So, it’s good that she takes pics 50 yards from a mirror and covers her face. I only want to scream when I masturbate if my mom walks in on me.