Scarlett Johansson Is Single Again

Surprise! E! Online reports:

We went from thinking Scarlett Johansson was preggers with Sean Penn’s baby just two short months ago to this week’s news that couple are already kaput.

Despite their 24-year age difference, we thought these kids could have had a shot at making it last, well at least for another few months or so, what with their shared love of Cuban food, humanitarian work, jogging and snogging in public places.

So after ScarJo had just moved into Sean’s Malibu pad, what went down to make the couple go their separate ways?

Nobody in Camps Penn or Johansson is saying, but we have a few goodies:

The first being that despite Penn’s gruff outward appearance, the guy is actually a family man/mama’s boy at heart (Mother Penn does live less than a mile away) and that some members of the fam urged him to purge the young starlet, who is just a few years older than his children.

We doubt the private Penn clan enjoyed the media frenzy and stalkerazzi that came out of the woodwork when ScarPenn united forces.

And besides, we secretly think (and hope) that Sean still loves ex-Robin Wright, who recently called it quits with her boyfriend, so perhaps she influenced her former hubby to give the new blonde the boot?

I’m too tired to give a shit, but I have a two theories of my own: Sean Penn heard her sing, or she was pregnant and they realized what their kid was probably going to look like and aborted mission, in which case they each deserve a medal.