My Gardener Is Not Cheating On Me With This

Todd really likes to make my day by texting me to tell me that Sean Kingston is dead. And that Mark Sanchez is banging Hayden Panettiere. Fortunately, neither wound up being true. Us Weekly says:

Hayden Panettiere hasn’t exactly rebounded from her split with heavyweight boxing champion Wladmir Klitschko.

Though she was recently spotted out with New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, the 21-year-old Scream 4 actress tells Us Weekly the two are simply good friends.

“I swear I’m not dating him at all. Honestly. I’m a huge Jets fan and became very good friends with him and his buddies,” she told Us Thursday at the Vans Custom Culture Event in NYC. “There’s genuinely, absolutely nothing going on. I’ve always been that girl who has a lot of dude friends. I’m into sports so we have a lot in common, but no, definitely 100% not dating.”

The actress added that she and Sanchez, 24, have shared a few laughs over the recent relationship rumors.

“Every person that I stand next to in this industry is a guy I’m going to be linked to — that’s just inevitably the way it goes,” she explained. “When it’s a long-term friendship like that, sometimes it starts getting a little bit frustrating for certain people. You don’t want to put fuel into the fire but you don’t want to stop living your life and doing what you want to do.”

Panettiere promises that when she does find love again, her fans will be the first to know.

“It’s too much energy most of the time to keep it hidden. So when I say we’re just friends, I mean it!” she told Us. “Time will tell if I’m lying, but I’m 100% not! He’s a great dude and he’s a great football player and he’s Jet player, which I love.”

As expected, Hayden is simply too old for Mark Sanchez, and you can’t believe everything Todd says. I just wish I remembered that before I threw away my fake ID that said I was born in 1994. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? A jumper? Pigtails? A Flux Capacitor? God. You ruin EVERYTHING.