Kim Kardashian Might Be Pregnant

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Look, OK! Magazine did a cover where they claimed I was pregnant once, so draw your own conclusions from this article. But Kim Kardashian might be pregnant.

Now the happy couple’s family and friends have an another even more joyful surprise to celebrate: Kim and Kris are going to have a baby! “Kim always thought she’d have at least one or two kids by now, so she’s absolutely in a hurry,” an insider tells OK!. “And Kris loves kids and doesn’t see any reason to wait,” adds the pal. “Her friends are even taking bets on whether it will be a boy or a girl.”

From a business sense, the baby is gonna come out with that new reality show smell while Ryan Seacrest jacks off in the corner. Because what better way to celebrate your completely scripted and E! funded engagement by creating a spinoff with the power of your uterus? It just seems like the next logical step in Kris Jenner’s plan. On the downside, it’ll probably come out looking like a giant version of Kourtney’s baby (this unfortunate looking Jihad grandpa). Also on the downside, if you think her ass is gonna look a whole better now, you’re black. Sorry about that.