Shut Up

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Look, I have a headache right now, so I’m not going to go into the reasons why I can’t stand this bitch, but Lady Gaga gave an interview that will be in the new issue of Rolling Stone. But if you’ve read an interview of a coke-addled hack with a God complex and no concept of reality before, you can skip this if you want. It’s basically the same thing. Daily Mail reports:

On how a recent tornado victim would like a word with her:

‘When I am not onstage I feel dead. Whether that is healthy or not to you, or healthy or not to anyone, or a doctor, is really of no concern to me. ‘I don’t feel alive unless I’m performing, and that’s just the way I was born.’

On her cult of mindless worshippers who don’t understand music. I mean, her fans:

‘We have this umbilical cord that I don’t want to cut, ever. I don’t feel that they suck me dry.’It would be so mean, wouldn’t it, to say, “For the next month, I’m going to cut myself off from my fans so I can be a person.” ‘What does that mean? They are part of my person, they are so much of my person. They’re at least 50 percent, if not more.’

On how rhyming “rara” with “gaga”, being carried in an egg, wearing a meat dress, and using clip art to make a motorcycle have your face is art:

‘Is it that you believe that I am attention-seeking or shock for shock’s sake, or is it just that it’s been a long time since someone has embraced the art form the way that I have? ‘Perhaps it’s been a couple of decades since there’s been an artist that’s been as vocal about culture, religion, human rights, politics. I’m so passionate about what I do, every bass line, every EQ. ‘Why is it that you don’t want more from the artist, why is it that you expect so little, so when I give and give, you assume it’s narcissistic?”

If we’ve learned anything, it’s that Lady Gaga is a giver. She just gives and gives and our minds are closed to her heavenly light that she wants to spread over the world. It’s our fault that we don’t understand her. We are just too closed minded to understand the deeper meaning of nipple tape and the forbidden truth she is trying to awaken inside of us when she wears a lampshade on her head. Also, does anybody know her coke dealer? Where does he get his shit from? Pandora?