Zach Galifianakis Hates January Jones

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I think we can rule out Zach Galifianakis as the father. NY Daily News reports:

Don’t count January Jones as among Zach Galifianakis’ favorite celebrity encounters. The funny man revealed in an interview with that the two had an icy first meeting that he just isn’t able to overlook. “She and I were very rude to each other,” he recalled. “It was crazy.” Galifianakis went on to recount being at a party where the “Mad Men” star invited him to sit with her. “So I sit at her table and talk for 10 minutes, and she goes, ‘I think it’s time for you to leave now,'” he claimed. “So I say, ‘January, you are an actress in a show and everybody’s going to forget about you in a few years, so f–king be nice,'” he continued, “and I got up and left.”…While many male stars would probably be quick to agree to a sex scene with the gorgeous blond, Galifianakis is one celebrity who wouldn’t be willing. “I wouldn’t want to,” he said. “I’d hate it.”

I hope it’s not a secret to anyone that January Jones is a raging ice queen who tries to intimidate men. That’s because you need liquid oxygen to reach the bottom of her issues and no amount of indifference or systematic neglect by a man can create the perfect woman you see today. Skinny, blonde, and the insecurity of a burn victim at a public pool fused to her DNA. When I see January Jones all I see is violent mood swings and unlimited anal. Basically what I’m saying is, where is the waiting list? Can I sign up online? How does this work?