Oh, Yeah. Totally. Aniston Would Have Been My First Choice.

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Ensuring that she wins an award for something and that nobody at Spike TV has a functioning penis, Jennifer Aniston will be presented with the “Decade of Hotness” award at the fifth annual Guys Choice Awards. People reports:

Jennifer Aniston has an impressive list of acting credits spanning two decades – and her beauty has endured, according to Spike TV. Aniston, 42, will receive the Decade of Hotness award at the fifth annual “Guys Choice” celebration next month. One of the night’s highest honors, “Decade of Hotness is Guys Choice’s ultimate term of endearment for a woman that we just can’t get enough of,” says Spike TV executive vice-president Casey Patterson. Aniston is set to personally accept the award during the show – which airs Friday, June 10, at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Spike TV.

The only thing you have to know about Jennifer Aniston is the last story that came about her. The story about her losing her best friend, Norman. The Norman who is a FUCKING CORGI-TERRIER MIX. If your best friend is an animal, you are either 1.) an emotional recluse with no social skills and unable to form relationships, 2.) a Thundercat, 3.) a prince in a pink camisole who holds aloft a magic sword and is granted the power of Greyskull. Nothing in any of those scenarios describes something I’ve wanted to fuck for ten years.

These pictures are of Adriana Lima yesterday or one of the billion other choices for the award: