Kanye West Is Probably Banging Kate Upton

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Man, I really need to start wearing a baby blue argyle sweater and throw temper tantrums when MTV doesn’t give me an award. New York Post reports:

Kanye West has set his sights on yet another gorgeous model — blond Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue beauty Kate Upton. The star was spotted sneaking in the back door at the Victoria’s Secret VIP Swim event at Club L in Los Angeles at 11:30 p.m. and sitting with impossibly attractive Upton. A spy reports the two were seen flirting and left hand-in-hand through the back door to avoid paparazzi around 12:30 a.m. Also at the bash was Miranda Kerr, who showed she was back to supermodel form after giving birth just three months ago.

Look, I’m not saying Kanye West needs to die, but if he did, how will Kate know if she can ever get over a heartbreak? I’m just trying to help her grow as a person.