Kourtney Kardashian Was On Some Soap Opera

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Being on a soap opera and a “reality” television show is basically the same thing, but on a soap opera, they aren’t pretending that what you’re watching isn’t scripted. So, it just seems like a natural progression that one of the Kardashian whores would be on one. Specifically, Kourtney Kardashian. Her annoying, grating voice aside, you get to see what she looks like standing next to other humans. Is she walking on her knees? How short is this bitch? All this does is further prove my theory that Khloe was adopted from a shelter on Skull Island. And in case the words on the video didn’t give it away, Kourtney’s character’s name is “Kassandra Kavanaugh”. And her actual dialogue is “Kassandra Kavanaugh, with two K’s”. What the fuck does that even mean? What has two K’s? Kassandra or Kavanaugh? Whatever. Just add this to the list of things this chick sucks at in life. With her dipshit husband and baby who looks like a sleeper cell Al-Qaeda. If they wanted me to watch this shit, they should have named it Kourtney and Kim Take Fukushima.

Yeah, so…maybe that 5th cup of coffee wasn’t the best idea.