Megan Fox Is The Perfect Woman

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In response to her ads for Armani, people have claimed that Megan Fox is anorexic and unhealthy. And by “people”, I mean jealous women crying like they’re in the Miami Heat locker room because Krispy Kreme hotlight is off. New York Daily News reports:

Cry her a river: Megan Fox eats a lot but she can’t gain weight. The actress and Armani model doesn’t like when people think her petite frame is due to anorexia, her personal trainer Harley Pasternak told Especially because keeping weight on is such a struggle. “She gets frustrated at times because she’s like, ‘I need to put on weight.’ So she actually weight-trains to keep on that lean muscle tissue,” Pasternak said. Pasternak insisted that Fox just has a “really fast metabolism.” “With her it’s really about [whether] she’s eating enough of the right things,” he said. People thought, ‘Oh, she must be anorexic,’ but she’s far from that!”.…”The key to Megan’s abs is first of all genetics,” Pasternak said. “The second is that we train her abs on all three planes. It’s not just about crunch, crunch, crunch. It’s about working her body up and down and side to side and rotation. We train all three of her rectus abdominis, her obliques and her corset muscle to make sure that her abs are not just tight and strong but small.”

To recap: hot, skinny, and genetically incapable of gaining weight. And also something about “rectus”. Does this quote also contain winning lottery numbers that I need to some kind of special decoder to read, because obviously it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever read.