The Hotter Swan

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Unlike Kirk Douglas’ embalmed corpse, Mila Kunis was the hottest thing on stage last night. Mostly because of this dress. No, wait, I meant her boobs. Yeah, her boobs. Sorry about that. My grandma and I are practicing for a talent show, so I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Speaking of which, gold sequins pants? Yes or no? I mean, my ass looks great, but I’m not sure gold is in my color wheel.