The Winners You Care About

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In case you missed it in my last two posts, the 83rd Academy Awards were last night. Besides Inception not winning Best Picture, the greatest tragedy of the night was James Franco and Anne Hathaway as the hosts. James Franco was high as giraffe’s pussy the whole night and Anne Hathaway and her tentacle arms were painfully unfunny. I couldn’t have laughed less if my doctor up showed and presented my brain with Best Achievement in Tumors. Anyway, here were the night’s main winners.

Best Picture: The King’s Speech

Best Actor: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Best Actress: Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Actor in a Supporting Role: Christian Bale, The Fighter

Actress in a Supporting Role: Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Director: Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

Original Screenplay: David Seidler, The King’s Speech

Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network