This Is Britney’s New Song

Since 2006, we’ve been getting emails that say stuff like “OmG hATerZ! bRiTNeE iZ g0nNa c0mE bAcK anD prUv ALL oF U wR0nG!!” They ramble on like that for a while. You know, just like the months and years in which Britney Spears, in fact, does not make a comeback. So here is her new song. And as one might expect, it’s god awful. Not only because it was already made in 1979, but we get to see Britney dance. And by “dance” I mean shuffle around in between inhaler and Hot Pocket breaks. Christ, can’t we just all agree that the only thing anybody needs to hold against Britney is a semi-automatic to put her out of her misery? Or just send her to Alaska so Eskimos can hunt her for her meat and oil.