Miranda Kerr Spit Out Her Kid

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It’s a boy. And he’ll be trying the rest of his life to find a hotter vagina that the one he just came out of. Sorry, dude. Us Magazine reports:

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom welcomed their first child — a son — in L.A. on Thursday, X17 reports. After dating for nearly three years, the Victoria’s Secret model, 27, and Pirates of the Caribbean actor, 33, secretly wed in early July.

I realize Orlando Bloom is supposed to be the father, but don’t surprised when you see the first pics of this baby that he’s brown with his dick wrapped around his leg. Why do I say this you ask? Oh, no reason (*).

(*)= I banged her.