Gaylor Split Because Taylor Swift Was Too Young. Riiiiggghht.

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I don’t know if Jake Gyllenhaal and his publicist pulled reasons out of hat to explain why he broke up with a hot, skinny, 21-year old blonde, but congratulations! They pulled the gayest one! Us Magazine reports:

Taylor Swift, 21, may be hard at work penning her next break-up ballad — sources confirm to that she and Jake Gyllenhaal, 30, have ended their brief romance. “Jake reached out to her and started all of this, but now he’s not acting as interested,” a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly (on stands Wednesday). The previously inseparable pair called it quits just before New Year’s Eve, then rang in 2011 separately. “He said he wasn’t feeling it anymore and was uncomfortable with all the attention they got,” says the insider of the just over two-month romance. “He also said he could feel the age difference. Taylor is really upset. We told her not to move so fast with this but she didn’t listen.” Explains a Gyllenhaal insider, “Jake cares about her, but [the publicity] was a lot for him. He wants to keep his private life private, and that’s hard to do dating Taylor.

He could feel the age difference, huh? Isn’t that the point of banging 21-year old chicks? To feel the age difference? I’m a man. If I wanted to fuck somebody my own age it would be in a land development deal, not on my couch with her knees pinned to her ears.