Kelly Brook Is Getting Married

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God just killed a homeless veteran and his baby kitten. Mirror UK reports:

Kelly Brook has told friends she is planning to MARRY rugby hunk Danny Cipriani – after he promised her: “This time it’s for keeps.” Danny, who split from Kelly earlier this year, was “consumed with jealousy” when he saw pictures of her cuddling up to his former Wasps team-mate Thom Evans at her 31st birthday party in London last month. After the pain of seeing his ex with another man he decided he would do whatever it took to win her back and in an emotional heart-to-heart told her: “I want you to be the mother of my children.” Now the loved-up pair – who rekindled their romance on a getaway holiday in The Maldives – will spend the festive period relaxing and planning their future together.

I guess you gotta give up to this guy. He knew what he wanted and made sure she knew it. On the other hand, she’s 31. Unlike us men who get better looking with age, in about five years she’s gonna look like Kelly Brook if Kelly Brook couldn’t stay out in the sunlight for longer than 90 minutes at a time because she’s a masked vigilante intent on revenge.