Lindsay Is Totally Committed To Sobriety

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Brace yourself. You’re gonna believe this. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s roommates had a party a week ago last Saturday night, and TMZ has learned the booze was flowing and the girls got in a heap of trouble. We’re told Lindsay and her roomies were staying at a satellite house at the Betty Ford Clinic. The roommates were “drinking heavily” and somehow the Betty Ford people found out and busted them. The roommates were moved back to the main facility at Betty Ford, which has more supervision. As for Lindsay, we’re told there was no evidence she had been drinking, but we’re told after the incident Betty Ford officials decided Lindsay could not leave the area for Christmas. We’re also told Lindsay has gone back to the main Betty Ford facility, not for punishment but for “intensive therapy.” By the way, sources connected with Lindsay are telling us she went out with two of her roommates the night of the party to a bar. We could not independently confirm the story, however, again, we’re told there’s no evidence Lindsay was drinking.

So to recap, six trips to rehab (this time at Betty Ford where she was sent when anybody else would have been sent to jail for a year), and as soon as she steps foot outside the clinic, she’s drinking like a rescued man from a deserted island at his welcome home party. Jesus. Can’t they just let this bitch out so she can be found in a ditch with her panties in her mouth and a Ketel One bottle up her ass? It pretty much seems like the only scenario in which this fucking idiot will think that alcohol is bad.