Miley Cyrus Is A Wonderful Human Being

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In her memoir, Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go, Miley Cyrus says that she was “scrawny and short” and the victim of endless bullying in middle school and high school. Yes, because rich, spoiled white girls on the cheerleading squad are often victims of incessant and unnecessary violence. Radar Online reports:

But in an exclusive interview with, Miley’s best childhood friend Nicole Mullen-Holm remembers a completely different scenario. “Miley is a liar who bullied girls and was a real b*tch to everyone,” Nicole says. “I’m so in shock that Destiny, oh, I mean Miley, wrote a book about being the victim of middle school bullying when she was the mean girl of our school,” Mullen-Holm says. “Even though we were friends, she was still a brat. I knew her from the first grade and when she and I got to middle school, she just did a 180-degree turn in the wrong direction.” “Miley became so mean, I remember her shouting at an overweight girl calling her ‘lesbian’ and ‘dyke,'” Mullen-Holm, 18, recalls. “Miley was a cheerleader and was with the ‘in’ crowd. She was never bullied in elementary or middle school. If anyone even touched her it would have been the end of the world. Her dad would own the school!”

If you honestly believe that Miley Cyrus has spent one day of her life questioning whether or not the world revolves around her, then I really don’t know what to tell you. She was the star of her own show at 14 and got dropped off at school in a limousine, yet remembers it like she had to drop off a ring at Mordor. Clark Kent was bullied more in high school than this bitch.